So, without further ado:
1) Christian is from the West Coast, and Zachary is from the East Coast.
2) Zachary rolls with Biggie, Christian rolls with Tupac.
3) Christian is the son of a male nurse, and Zachary is the son of a male pastor.
4) Zachary is skinny, and Christian is not-so-skinny.
5) Christian likes to be honest with his friends, trusting that their friendship will endure no matter what the topic,
while "Zachary" likes to beat around the bush and usually ends up hurting feelings more often that way.
6) Zachary has never paid for sex.
7) Christian doesn't like to talk about it. Zachary won't let it go.
8) Zachary will worry about a term paper for two weeks only to start it the night before it's due. Christian will not worry about a term paper until the night before it's due.
9) Christian is not afraid to touch you. Zachary is watching you.
10) Zachary's favorite color is green. Christian's favorite color is blue.
11) Christian was a first baseman, and Zachary was a second baseman.
12) Zachary likes a woman who ain't scared to get dirty. Christian wants a girl he can take home to meet mom.
13) Christian finds value in reading children's literature such as Harry Potter. Zachary is an intellectual snob who thinks children are weak-minded.
14) Zachary got an A- in Modern European Literature while Christian only managed to get a B+.
15) Christian wonders why Zachary is so afraid to be equals. Zachary is compensating for something.
16) Zachary would like to uppercut you right out of those Crocs and that Jack Johnson T-Shirt. Christian thought his first CD was okay.
17) Christian wears sandals. Zachary does not like bare male feet.
18) Zachary was born in the Fall, Christian was born in the Summer.
19) Christian thinks that Church and society should learn to openly dialogue with another. Zachary thinks God doesn't see him when defecates on public monuments.
20) Zachary believes that desperate times call for desperate measures; dictators must be overthrown one way or another. Christian will be voting for John McCain.
21) Christian likes to vote with his pants on. Zachary has never made it through an election without getting arrested.
22) Zachary has 99 problems and four of them are bitches. Christian wishes he wasn't a bitch.
23) Christian isn't a bitch.
24) Yeah-huh.
25) When was the last time you were truly vulnerable?
26) I don't remember.
27) I wish I didn't.
28) Zachary drinks to remember. Christian drinks to forget.
29) Christian took the registrar seriously and now has a college degree, unlike Zachary who will never be a competent French speaker.
30) Zachary tries not say hurtful things to his friends which he might regret in the morning. When he's sober.