Z Chast: I didn't watch LOST last night. Should i prepare for heartache ?
C Gonz: Eh. There was some cool stuff. I just wish they would quit this flashsideways nonsense. I don't see how it could possibly lead anywhere I'm interested. If they just stuck with what's going on with the people on the Island, we would be halfway through the season.
Z Chast: Balls. Just balls. Also, I wish I could write like a poet, just for one day. I've been thinking a lot about the term "chesticles" lately and I don't know why.
C Gonz: You totally are a poet, dude. Good call on chesticles. It's an important concept that isn't explored with enough enthusiasm.
Z Chast: I tend to agree - further study is no doubt needed, especially in light of the increasing importance of Queer Theory and feminism.
C Gonz: Queer Theory for the Straight Theorist could be a television series. I mean, I'd watch it.
Z Chast: Perhaps with a sister book for group discussions called, "Chesticles and Man Boobs: Dangerous Conflations of the Modern Body" ?
C Gonz: Yes. Perfect. We could make millions.
Z Chast: Or, for the middle school classroom: "Lumps and Bumps: What Happened to My Old Body?"
C Gonz: Please tell me that's your next assignment for the information books you've written. I would be a fulfilled man, if so.
Z Chast: Or the more harrowing edition for unruly teens: "You Can't Go Back: How Your Choices Impact Your Body"
C Gonz: Or the one for just young teen boys. "Better Get Used to it, Pal. It's Like That Every Morning"
Z Chast: or "IF YOU TOUCH IT IT'LL EXPLODE ... and other myths"
C Gonz: And for girls: "Don't Worry! It Doesn't Mean You're Dying!"
Z Chast: "On Your Own Now: Why Changes in Your Body Make You Irreversibly Different"
C Gonz: "Masturbation: Filthy Foe or Misunderstood Friend?"
Z Chast: "Cleaning Up the Mess: 50 Lessons You'll Need to Learn to Hide the New You"
C Gonz: "50 Things Childhood Didn't Prepare You For: The Truth About You"
C Gonz: "Parents Really Don't Understand: The Importance Of Friends As Wounded Healers"
Z Chast: "Strike First: How Aggressive and Demeaning Language Can Keep You Safe"
C Gonz: "Getting Even: Sorting Through the Lie of The High-Road and 10 Other Things Adults Made Up To Keep You Down"
C Gonz: "'This Isn't Even Fun Anymore': How To Handle the Responsibility and Disappointing HJs Like a Grown Ass Man"
Z Chast: "Living in Abject Terror: It IS the Size of the Ship, and It Doesn't Make it Easier Even if You Really Do Think She Loves You"
